An End of a Season - Pre-schooler

Something has changed since November.  I felt something was different, but I couldn't put my finger on it until one day I realized what it was.  I'm changing seasons.  I no longer have a child who is a toddler or pre-schooler. Weird.  Because I spread out our kiddos, we've had a toddler for 14 years.

Kate turned 6 in November.  I know this sounds strange but I feel like I've awakened from a long winter's sleep.  Don't get me wrong, I've thoroughly enjoyed my children at all their stages and I wasn't asleep while raising them!  Ha!  It's just that, as the mom, I was always the one who was watching the stroller at amusement parks, nursing the first 12 months, being the main caretaker (although my hubby is super helpful when he's off work and is an amazing father).  Well, now all my kids can wipe their own bottoms, (okay, that's actually been happening for a long time, but hey, it's an important one), shower themselves, dress themselves, my older son does his own laundry, do dishes, clean the TOILET (that was huge!), vacuum, mow, make their own lunch. Wow, this list just makes me SO happy!

I feel we're at that point where we can just start enjoying each other.  Ya know?

I have a bit more freedom to work on something if I want to or need to.  It's been cold outside so I started a puzzle.  Really?  I don't know if I've ever done a puzzle just for fun.  And it is fun!

My kids are playing games with each other and me.  We are making memories and new family traditions.

I heard someone say once that you need to enjoy each season you are in and get everything out of it because the lessons you learn are preparing you for your next season.

I don't know all the things my next season holds, but I do know that I embraced motherhood fully and deeply and my heart is overwhelmed with the things I'm reaping from early motherhood.  Children I enjoy being with, hugs and kisses freely given and received, little notes of love from my Katie girl, a son who's not embarrassed to dance with his mom in the kitchen and another one who is a little embarrassed but records it anyway so we can laugh later.

I love these kiddos.

Marriage Secret - An End to "Firsts"

After we had been married a few years I saw an episode of Mad About You.  Do you remember that show?  It wasn't one I watched regularly, but I caught this particular episode.  Helen Hunt's character was freaking out because now that she was married she realized she would now longer experience any more "firsts" in a relationship.  First time to hold hands, first date, first kiss, first everything.  That can be a very exciting time in a relationship.  Everything is new and unknown.  Well, it kinda scared me.

If you'll remember from a previous post, I hadn't been a relationship longer than three months before I met Jeff.  Would he get tired of me?  Would I get tired of him?  Would we get tired of each other and our lives together and long for that excitement found in the beginning of our relationship?

I really pondered it and it bugged me for a little bit.  I think it stayed in the back of my mind for a few years until after we got our lives turned around eight years into our marriage.  We had been through an awful lot together, some not so great things, but that's for another post.  By this point, we had laid everything bare before each other.  He knew everything about me and I knew everything about him.  We had worked through a lot and during our time of spiritual growth in the Lord we became very intimate. What do I mean?

Well, you can be physically intimate with anyone.  It's not hard, but to bare your soul to another human being is another thing.  When you pray together, you see your spouse's heart, you hear their deepest desires, you begin to know the essence of who they are.   There becomes a level of spiritual intimacy that is far greater than physical intimacy.  Everything becomes more alive in your relationship.  Physical intimacy becomes heightened, conflicts are reduced, and the sense of fulfillment from your marital relationship is increased.

So, do I miss those "firsts"? No, not at all!  That excitement pales in comparison to the joy I have with Jeff right now.   I never tire of his company and conversation, his witty humor, and quirky ways, or those beautiful blue eyes when he looks at me.

So, don't fret over longevity in a relationship.  Continue to grow in your relationship with the Lord and with each other and it will never be boring!

Marriage Secret - How Do You Know That You Know?

In one week Jeff and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.  Wow!  I definitely don't feel old enough to be saying that!!

I thought I'd take the next week to share some things that have helped us over the years.  I'm no expert by any means and I'm sure in 10 years I might look back this and laugh, but sometimes it's good to reflect on what has worked and what hasn't.  

So with that in mind, today I'll share about How do you know that you know?

Before I met Jeff, I hadn't dated anyone longer than three months.  I don't know, that just seemed to be the magical time frame to know if the relationship was marriage worthy.  The initial excitement of the relationship had worn off and now the faults were beginning to show - theirs and mine.  I dated one guy in college that, at the time, I thought I loved.  I was so sad when I ended it.  He had a wandering eye.  I knew it, but I had wished and prayed that he was the one.  Oh, I am so thankful now for UN-answered prayers.  Can I get an AMEN??!!!  Sometimes we just need a little distance and time from a relationship to know God has a better plan! 

I met Jeff the first day of an Advanced TV course at Oral Roberts University.  Class had already started and he walked in a little late because he had been running camera at chapel.  I will always remember the first time I saw him.  I remember distinctly thinking, "Hmm, I'd like to get to know him."  Well, we did get to know each other.  He was my lighting director on a class project I had to direct.  He was charming, irritatingly funny, and unavailable.  He was dating someone long distance.  It was wonderful really, because we were just friends.  Friends that flirted, of course, but still just friends.  We hung out in groups of others friends and worked together that summer.  He eventually broke off things with the other girl.  There's that dance you do with someone you're interested in.  You want them to know you like them, but you don't want to be the first one to say something.  I tried to give so many hints, nothing worked, until his friend came for a visit and saw the way we interacted with each other.  He said, "Dude, that girl likes you,"  Finally, thank you!  We started officially dating.  By that time, things between us were very easy.  We knew each other as friends first, so there were no awkward times.  That three month marker passed and I just knew he was the one.  Young people ask me how I knew that Jeff was the one.  I just knew that I knew.  If you don't know that you know that someone is right for you, well, then you just don't know.  Simple, but true.  

There are some natural indictors.  I'll give you a few...

1.  You have a peace down deep that they are the one.  No one has to convince you.  You don't have to convince yourself.  Some would caution that peace can also be denial, so continue down this list to see if your feeling is true or just self-deception.

2.  Do you have a list of what you are believing for in a spouse?  How does that person line up with that list?  Are you compromising on core issues?  There should be some non-negotiable items that you don't compromise on.  Core beliefs.  Mine were that he would be a born-again, spirit-fillled Christian, with the same conservative values I had.  I also wanted tall (that's very important when you're a 5'10" lady), dark hair, blue eyes, and a good sense of humor.   If he had blond hair and brown eyes, I'm sure I would have still married him!  

3.  You share the same passions in life.  Do you love the idea of missions and he would never consider going on missions? - red flag.   Do you want children and he is adamant about no children? - red flag.  Are you a Republican and him a Democrat? - red flag!  Those are core issues and you would be a house divided and a divided house will not stand.  I've heard the saying, opposites attract, but I've also heard opposites attract and then they attack. 

4.  Typically your family will approve of your choice and embrace him.  This is not always the case, depending on the spiritual condition of your family, but in a normal family your parents know you.  They raised you and know the type of man that would compliment your personality and make a good match.  I brought home several young men, and although they were friendly to them all, they embraced Jeff like a son.  They knew he was the one.  

5.  Typically your friends will be excited for you too.  Now I caution you on this one because I had a friend who didn't like Jeff.  I'm not sure why, but they didn't and they didn't treat him with kindness.  I'm not sure if it was jealousy or what, but I actually had to cut off my relationship with that person because they just couldn't accept him.  They were the exception, everyone else was excited for us.  Take some people's opinion with a grain of salt or consider the source.  The scripture in Proverbs 11:14 comes to mind, "There is safety in a multitude of counselors."   

I believe marriage is a lifetime commitment and a decision not to be taken lightly.  Can you see yourself living with this person for your entire life?  Do you enjoy spending time with this person?  Do you have similar views on life, money, and conflict resolution?

I pray you find your God match.  Life's so much fun with the right person to "do" life with!

 

Mr. Awesome

My oldest son, Zachary, turns 14 today.  That feels incredibly strange to type.  I remember so clearly him in his cute bib overalls and Gap hat toddling in front of me as a carefully watched him.  Everybody warns you, "It goes so fast." Well, they're right.

People also say raising teenagers is terrible. Well, they're wrong. I love having a teenager in the house.  He's so much fun to hang out with and talk to.  He is a deep thinker and we have great conversations.  This summer I hired him to help me do some interior painting.  My Mom took my two youngest children during the day for two days so Zach and I could really knock it out.  We worked together and just talked; I took him to Freebirds for lunch, and we talked some more.  I genuinely had a great time.  I enjoy his company.  I feel I'm on the verge of becoming more of an advisor in his life.

What are some things I love about Zach?

Well, he is super responsible.  If I explain, in a reasonable fashion, the logic behind washing his face every day and why it's good for him, he does it without fail.  Seriously.  He sets his own alarm and gets up everyday and takes a shower, reads his bible, and writes out scriptures that stand out to him.  That just makes my heart melt.  He is so like his dad in that way.  They each have a stack of books they're reading, and a cup full of pens and highlighters.   Staples is one of their favorite stores.  I love them!

He is also a very gentle young man.  He's quite tall already, 6'1'', and we've often called him the gentle giant.  He thought it sounded weak, but I had to explain to him that one day that characteristic would  be much admired by someone special.  He is especially gentle with his sister, Kate.  Their bond started immediately.  When my parents brought him and Jonathan to the hospital to see Kate for the first time, they let him pick out a special stuffed animal for Kate.  He chose a pink bunny.  He was smitten.   He instantly became her protector.  There were many times over the next few years I would hear, "Mom, are you sure Kate should be doing that?"  or "Mom, that doesn't look safe."  Our third parent, that's what we called him sometimes.  He just has a soft spot for her, but it's not just her, it's other little kids too. He will include his little cousin, Owen, even when the other boys don't want him playing with them. Now, don't get me wrong, there are times he has to set Kate straight on something or gets irritated, but it doesn't last long.

We call Zach, Mr. Christmas, because it's his favorite time of year. 

I see him becoming more comfortable in his own skin. He is accepting his own gifts and talents and is aware of the futility of comparing himself with others; although that is very tempting at times.  He is very intuitive and perceptive of people and situations.

Zach was such a cute baby.  I literally had strangers pick him up out of my shopping cart to hold him!

Me and my boy!

He always loved dressing up to play cowboy.

He went through a phase when he liked to dress up like his dad.  He hasn't worn a tie since, but he sure was cute!

Zach's always enjoyed fishing.

Already a little swagger going on...

Happy Birthday Zach! We love you!!

The Trivium - say what?

The trivium. It sounds like a daunting word.  What in the world is it?  This is my fourth year on the classical education journey and it's starting to click.

Need a down to earth explanation?  Let's break it down.

In medieval times there were seven branches of knowledge referred to as liberal arts.  The lower three were grammar,  logic/dialectic, and rhetoric and they are the three liberal arts contained in the trivium.  The higher four were arithmetic, music, geometry, and astronomy.  These last four comprise the quadtrivium.

The trivium is defined as "an introductory curriculum at a medieval university involving the study of grammar, rhetoric, and logic."

I'd also heard people refer to the trivium as the three roads of learning.

The first road is grammar.  Remember when elementary schools used to be known as grammar schools?  This stage of learning takes place roughly between birth and 6th grade.  The main aspects of this stage according to Dorothy Sayer is memorization, recitation, and observation.  So, what does that mean?  Lots and lots of memory work!!  We memorize a historical timeline, history facts, geographical locations and features, science facts, math facts, latin declensions and noun endings, and english grammar facts.  The way it was explained to me is like this: each child has an internal memory pegboard and each fact they learn creates a memory peg on which they can hang future information.  Will they understand all the information they memorize?  No, not yet.  They love memorizing at this age and the harder the words the better!  God actually wired them to memorize a vast amount of facts.  Think about all the vocabulary words they acquire in the first few years of life.  It's amazing.  Our family participates in Classical Conversations.  One of our tutors explained it so well by saying, "The tutor sets the pegs and the parents hammer in it."  As a homeschool mom, I am the primary educator and even though we go to CC once a week, it's my responsibility to help my kiddos memorize the information presented in class and go even deeper in certain subjects.   This is also a great stage to choose passages from scripture or poetry and set them to memory for the recitation portion.  Hands-on activities and science experiments contribute to the observation aspect of this stage. Kids this age LOVE hands-on activities.  The delight on my kids faces when they see the results of cooking recipe they helped with or the thrill of a nature walk is priceless.

The second road is the dialectic or logic stage.  Children begin entering this stage in middle school.  This is when they naturally begin to question things and begin to argue.  This is a natural stage which needs to be embraced by the parent.  We might as well teach them to argue and reason correctly and respectfully, right?  My oldest son is in this stage now and I love it!  We have such great discussions about a wide range of topics.  The dialectic stage is when the understanding begins to come from all the knowledge of facts they learned in the grammar stage.  They begin to organize the facts on that internal pegboard and learn to recognize truth and error.  They can discard error and hold on to the truth.

The third stage is the rhetoric stage.  This is where the all the knowledge and understanding culminates in wisdom.  Students can begin applying all they have learned in each stage and begin communicating with persuasion and eloquence.   Dorothy Sayer's refers to this stage as, "A time to learn the science of communication and the art of expression."

What I love the most about the trivium is the biblical worldview of learning where God is in the center and all the subjects are inter-related to God and each other.  We weren't meant to learn math in isolation.  We were meant to study math to reveal the order of God and how it relates to astronomy and the order of the universe.

This is the road to learning.  I am on this journey with my children.  There are days when it's a bit overwhelming because it's so different from the education I received.  This is when I am reminded that I am re-claiming my education too!  I am classical educating myself right along with my kids.  My desire is that my kids love to learn and become life long learners.  I'm modeling that desire to my kids by being honest when I'm learning something new.  My oldest and I are learning formal logic together this year.  It's a great partnership.  He is seeing his 40-year old mother tackle a new subject.  It's exciting!

Well, hopefully this helped breakdown the trivium in simple terms.

Happy learning!

A New Dress for Miss Pretty

Kate is my only girl so I enjoy sewing pretty things for her.  During the school year my time is very limited, so this summer I took a couple days and planned out a new dress for her.  I purchased the book, Sewing Clothes Kids Love, which has patterns included but I hadn't had a chance to try them yet.  The book is total eye candy, truly!  The authors are the creators behind the Studio Tantrum and Farbenmix patterns.  These are lovely Europeans brands that infuse color, pattern, and texture beautifully without seeming busy or overdone.

I decided on the Feliz dress.  So, Kate and I headed off to Hobby Lobby to choose fabrics.  I let her choose the fabrics with a little guidance.  One of the fabrics I probably would't have chosen, but I really wanted her to be involved in the creative process and she loves the dress!  I think a lot of that is because she chose each fabric.

I added some elastic on the overdress to pull it up because my hem was so deep on the underdress you couldn't see it.  She has instructions in the book on how to do it.  Super easy!

We found the little flowers at Joann's in the trim section.  I just hand sewed them onto the dress. 

She loves the ruffles!  I didn't get carried away with multiple rows.  It was my first attempt at the dress so I kept it fairly simple. 

Maximum twirlability!!!  Love it!!

Summer plan: Spirt, Soul, and Body

We finish up the bulk of our schoolwork this week.  Yippee!!  For my kids and me!!  Summer is a great time to refresh, refocus, and work on projects that have laid undone during the school year.  

I was praying this morning and it was a wonderful time of just me and the Lord.  During the school year, our schedule can be so harried.  I know I control that schedule, but I think that's the reason for summer. The Lord arrests my attention and helps me back on track.  

Our pastor used Psalms 46:10 in his sermon this week, "Be still and know that I am God."  How many times are we still? I find myself reaching for my iPhone or iPad when I have free time to check emails, weather, news, play Solitaire...  Really?  It's no wonder my children need to learn to be still.  That's something we've been working on.  If they are used to watching movies or playing video games, how will they learn to be still before the Lord...to hear his still small voice?  

We've been fishing this last week and it's reminded me of the stillness in nature.  We were on the dock by 6:30am on Mother's Day morning.  Jeff and the boys had some new gear from Bass Pro Shop and were ready to test it out to catch a whopper of a fish!  

Kate and I snuggled into our chairs.  I wasn't quite as eager to fish, but wanted to relax and enjoy the scenery.  Before I knew it, I had dozed off.  It was silent.  After probably 20 minutes I woke up to Jeff saying, "Shh, Mom's sleeping."  For those 20 minutes, no one said anything.  I was sleeping.  Jeff, Kate, and the boys were each occupied with their thoughts.  What a peaceful time!  

I've been sending the boys to their rooms for their individual time with the Lord.  They each have devotionals they read, their Bibles, and then they pray.  It's not long, maybe 15 minutes, but it gives them the opportunity to be still.  Zach is at the age where he has been having his time with the Lord when he wakes up. Love that! 

They also read each day.  Mine aren't big readers on their own.  Of course, once they get into a book it's hard for them to stop, but I'm usually prompting them.  One day, I'm hoping that won't be necessary.  

Reading helps their bodies be still.  Their minds are working and processing all the thoughts and ideas.  

So, after praying this morning, I have a plan for the summer.  We are a three part being: spirit, soul, and body.  There are 24 hours in a day, and my kids are usually awake from roughly 7:00am - 10:00pm (Kate sleeps later and goes to bed earlier).  I proposed to them this morning that we will be spending 1 hour on each of our parts.  One hour developing our spirits.  That will include memorizing the books of the Bible, scripture memory, and bible reading.  One hour developing our souls.  Our souls consists of our mind, will, and emotions so this will include learning, reading, etc.  One hour will be spent developing our bodies.  This can be running, walking, golfing, etc.  They will still have 12 hours in each day for other activities.  We start today!

Ask me in one month how we're doing...

What is Classical Education?

Since joining Classical Conversations three years ago, I have been learning about the classical education model.  What is it and how does it differ from how I was taught?  When I was applying for a directors position with CC, I  was asked to read and write a response of Dorothy Sayer's essay The Lost Tools of Learning.  It is exceptionally well written and I recommend reading it in full.  I wrote a cliff notes version of her essay and since it's a bit shorter I thought I'd share it here:

Response to Dorothy Sayer’s Essay The Lost Tools of Learning

In reviewing Dorothy Sayer’s essay, The Lost Tools of Learning, she delves into the problem of our modern educational system.  She states the main problem with modern education is that although we often succeed in teaching our pupils “subjects” we fail on the whole in teaching them how to think: they learn everything, except the art of learning.  Modern teaching methods teach subjects in isolation so the student has great difficulty making a mental connection between say, history and current economics.  She argues that if we are to produce a society of educated people, able to preserve their intellectual freedom in the midst of complex pressures of modern society, we must return to the proven teaching methods used for two millennia, the Trivium.

The Trivium is defined as a method of dealing with subjects intended to teach the students the proper use of the tools of learning before he begins to apply them to “subjects” at all.  The Trivium is by nature not learning but a preparation for learning.  The Trivium consists of three stages.  The first stage is Grammar.  This stage focuses on memorization, recitation, and observation.  Memory facts should include a historical timeline, Latin fundamentals as well as Science, Geography, English Grammar, Mathematics, and Theological facts. The second stage is Dialectic. Within this stage the students begin to understand all the facts they memorized in the Grammar stage.  It is in this stage when the students are shown all branches of learning to be interrelated.  Students will be taught reason and formal logic, which is defined as the art of arguing correctly.  The final stage is Rhetoric.  Now the trained mind is free to explore and apply all the facts that have been learned by rote and analyzed within the Dialectic stage.  It is a time to learn the science of communication and the art of expression.  Students are encouraged to begin specializing in subjects for which there is a natural disposition yet also continue with a few supplementary subjects to keep his mind open to the interrelations of all knowledge.  This stage culminates with the student learning to express himself in language and how to say what he has to say with elegance and persuasion.  

Still reading? Whew, almost done.

The integration of subjects is key within the Trivium.  It strings the isolated facts, which are memorized in the Grammar stage, together to make a meaningful whole.  Subjects are taught in relation to each other within a biblical worldview.  Ms. Sayer relates theology as the mistress-science without which the whole educational structure will necessarily lack its final synthesis.  The word mistress is defined as something regarded as feminine which has control and supremacy or something that directs or reigns.  Theology should, thus, be in the center directing and interrelating each subject to each other. 

In conclusion, Sayer states the tools for learning are the same and the person who knows how to use them will at any age obtain the mastery of a new subject in half the time and with a quarter of the effort.  The sole true end of education is simply this: to teach men how to learn for themselves; and whatever instruction fails to do this is effort expended in vain. 

Marshmallow Shooter Fun!

At our Classical Conversations classes this last Monday, the student presentation assignment was to demonstrate how to do or make something.  Jono decided he wanted to make a marshmallow shooter.  Zach had made one with a friend and Jono has been pining over wanting one for a long time.

So, YouTube to the rescue.  I found this video link - super easy and cheap!

Here are the basics supplies I bought and it made three guns:

1/2" PVC Pipe - it comes in 10ft sections
Elbow joints - no threading, 1/2 diameter, 2 per gun
T-joints - no threading, 1/2" diameter, 2 per gun
End caps - no threading,  1/2" diameter, 2 per gun
All my PVC and fittings cost $6.72 or $2.24 per gun - Oh yeah, cheap fun!
Mini marshmallows

Cut the PVC into:
4 - 3" segments
2 - 5" segments
1 - 7" segments

I used a miter box to cut the PVC and then a box knife to clean out the middle and a little sandpaper to file the ends smooth.

Arrange all your piece like so:

Have fun!!!

My little Sous Chefs

Last night I tried the Baked Ziti recipe from Whole Food Mommies.

Whole Food Mommies

It was a hit! I've been an epic failure when it comes to feeding my kids health options.  So, over the past few years we've been eliminating A LOT of processed foods and now we're working on adding back in whole foods.

Jeff and I had been really working on eating whole foods, but we hadn't been including our kids in the meals so it was just too much work.  Enter websites like Dr. Fuhrman's Eat to Live, Whole Food Mommies, Healthy Girl's Kitchen, and the Engine 2 Diet.

We find several recipes that we've tried with our kids and the results have been mixed,  but the baked ziti got raves reviews all around.

Click on this link for the recipe.

I used brown rice penne pasta instead whole wheat, I only used about 4 or 5 baby portabella mushrooms, 1/2 of a red pepper, and we didn't use the kale this time.  I'll probably try it next time though!
Other than those variances, I followed the recipe and it turned out great!

I added fresh green beans as a side.  Here are my sous chefs cutting up the green beans (Well, one is not so little anymore..):

Let me know if you try it!!