Marriage Secret - An End to "Firsts"

After we had been married a few years I saw an episode of Mad About You.  Do you remember that show?  It wasn't one I watched regularly, but I caught this particular episode.  Helen Hunt's character was freaking out because now that she was married she realized she would now longer experience any more "firsts" in a relationship.  First time to hold hands, first date, first kiss, first everything.  That can be a very exciting time in a relationship.  Everything is new and unknown.  Well, it kinda scared me.

If you'll remember from a previous post, I hadn't been a relationship longer than three months before I met Jeff.  Would he get tired of me?  Would I get tired of him?  Would we get tired of each other and our lives together and long for that excitement found in the beginning of our relationship?

I really pondered it and it bugged me for a little bit.  I think it stayed in the back of my mind for a few years until after we got our lives turned around eight years into our marriage.  We had been through an awful lot together, some not so great things, but that's for another post.  By this point, we had laid everything bare before each other.  He knew everything about me and I knew everything about him.  We had worked through a lot and during our time of spiritual growth in the Lord we became very intimate. What do I mean?

Well, you can be physically intimate with anyone.  It's not hard, but to bare your soul to another human being is another thing.  When you pray together, you see your spouse's heart, you hear their deepest desires, you begin to know the essence of who they are.   There becomes a level of spiritual intimacy that is far greater than physical intimacy.  Everything becomes more alive in your relationship.  Physical intimacy becomes heightened, conflicts are reduced, and the sense of fulfillment from your marital relationship is increased.

So, do I miss those "firsts"? No, not at all!  That excitement pales in comparison to the joy I have with Jeff right now.   I never tire of his company and conversation, his witty humor, and quirky ways, or those beautiful blue eyes when he looks at me.

So, don't fret over longevity in a relationship.  Continue to grow in your relationship with the Lord and with each other and it will never be boring!