After Jeff and I had been married for five years, we decided to start trying for children. I had always heard it might take awhile to get pregnant. A friend at work gave me a gestational wheel that showed ovulation dates and the best times to conceive. (Jeff said it sounded like a game show!) Well, I followed it precisely and got pregnant the first month we tried! Easy peasy...
After a few years we desired to try for another child. I always wanted a girl and had read a book about choosing the sex of your child by timing relations during certain parts of your ovulation cycle. I tried it for a few months, but I didn't get pregnant. So, I threw out the book idea and went back to the wheel. Still nothing. I began charting my cycle, counting the days, CM, the whole thing, yet still nothing.
I was beginning to feel my body had betrayed me. I had gotten pregnant before, why not now? My emotions were all over the map. One month, I was so confident that everything had been timed correctly and I was late. I just knew I was pregnant. I was about to leave to attend a bible study at church when I started my cycle. I broke down and cried. Jeff tried to comfort me, but I just sobbed as I got in the car to head to the church.
I was just driving and thinking when, out of the blue, I heard a voice on the inside that said, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." It hit me like a rock. I was consumed with "my plan" and "my charts" and wasn't relying on the Lord. I clicked on the CD player and put on worship music. I made a choice to praise him through my disappointment and tears. I didn't feel like it, but I did it and it completely changed my outlook.
Guess what? I got pregnant that very next month, about a year after first trying!
God is faithful to us when we ask him for help and make a decision to delight ourself in Him.
Here's my blessing. He is one of the kindest, most joyful, silly boys I know. Love him to pieces!
I love the Amplified version of Psalms 37:4, "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart."
